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Post by qpjames on Dec 10, 2005 20:31:40 GMT
who tha fuck you think you are/ get left bloody and scard/ you'll spend 3 hours tryin to diss me back/but get killed like you caught sars/ you gonna die tonight alright call life flight there was no fight once i bust this short verse you dont have ta like/ man on this i jus play typin a flow is so gay but today i flow on here anyway/ watchin you as u lay one tha curb when im done awww man fuck it im done i got shit ta do
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Catastrophe
Full Member
Warning: 99% For a good reason
Posts: 202
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Post by Catastrophe on Dec 11, 2005 7:28:10 GMT
hmmm....u need lots of elevatin and need to fix that structure up a lot u have lines that are way more stretched then others and what not....be more complex add some metaphors and mix it with some sick multis or something...this is too basic and kinda grammer school like rhyme scheme...keep elevating though..much respect on this drop..keep the ink spillin
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Post by Vallus on Dec 11, 2005 16:56:23 GMT
this was funny.....
becuz I murdered you in the fuck jay thread where you tried to cypher....
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Post by Dennen on Dec 18, 2005 9:07:12 GMT
too basic
like catastrophe said you need to add somethin to it
i would suggest jus startin off with a lil structure then see where it goes from there
if you need any tips then feel free to ask anyone on this board
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